Synthetics

$GUH & the synthetic series

A synthetic is a price, generated live, that exists for thirty seconds and then stops existing. The price is not a random number generator with a chart on top — it is driven by the order flow of the people trading it. Longs push it up, shorts push it down, liquidations shove it further, funding drags it back. Squeezes aren't animations; they're what the equation does when a crowd leans one way.

Trade $GUH See the engine

$GUH — GUH-PERP-30 parameter set

● OPEN

σ calm0.9%/√s

σ feral3.4%/√s

λ impact0.85

Impact exponent1.4 (anti-whale)

κ⁺ up jump1.0×

κ⁻ down jump2.6× — the signature

dN⁺ up rate0.05/s

dN⁻ down rate0.11/s

φ funding0.30

Regimes4 (Markov, ~6.5s dwell)

Round30s + 2s settle

$GUH's defining choice is jump asymmetry: downside jumps are 2.6× larger than upside jumps and arrive more than twice as often, offset by a positive baseline drift. The result climbs in small reassuring increments and then falls off a cliff without warning. Fourteen small green steps to build a position worth holding; one red tick to remove it.

The series

Each new ticker changes a different term of the equation and unlocks at a vault milestone — the fees aren't only buying stock, they're buying the next instrument for everyone.

Ticker	Status	Formula change	How it plays
$GUH	OPEN	κ⁻ = 2.6 κ⁺	Grinds up, knifes down.
$COPIUM	$250K vault	φ = 0.90	Funding cranked to violent. It always comes back — until the round ends first.
$TENDIES	$1M vault	μ_euphoria ×3	Fat upside tails and long air pockets. Vertical or nothing.
$WIFESBF	$2.5M vault	μ < 0, κ⁺ = 2.6 κ⁻	$GUH inverted. Bleeds down all round, then rips your shorts off.
$0DTE	$5M vault	σ ∝ 1/(T−t)	Volatility explodes as the clock runs out. The last five seconds are the game.
$MARGIN.CALL	$10M vault	λ × 2	The crowd moves it twice as hard. Pure reflexivity, no shelter.

Every instrument publishes a disclosure page exactly like this before it opens. An instrument whose numbers are not public does not list.